Monkey Fog: Executive Dysfunction, Decision Paralysis, and Anxiety

I have this feeling that i call “Monkey fog” - and I’ve decided that there’s really no better name for the experience. What happens is this: i get this feeling of extreme brain fog, where there are a hundred productive things i could be doing, but I don’t want to do literally any of them - there’s almost a physical discomfort at the thought of moving forward in any positive direction. And then, because I want to be productive and useful, the idea of doing something that i want to do (such as write about the monkey fog) gives me extreme anxiety, because that would mean that i am doing something that i want to do but it’s not the thing that I should be doing and then i end up finding some “lesser” distractions such as browsing Reddit but that’s not productive either and holy hell it’s like a degenerate monkey pulling me in every direction but the right one.

So there you have it. Monkey fog.

I know that this… experience… is a form of executive dysfunction and a complex blend of procrastination, decision paralysis, and some degree of anxiety. In the moment, I also know that if I just take the 10 minutes to work on something productive that i want to do, even if it’s for my own enjoyment and not in line with what i have to do, then i can move past this monkey in the fog and get on with my life and make things happen. Even now, as i am writing this post, i can feel the many-armed grip of the monkey on my brain starting to loosen, allowing me to regain focus and take control of my situation.

The hard part is remembering how important it is to actually step away from the spiral of executive dysfunction and work on something that will break that pattern. The exchange isn’t even comparable! Ten to thirty minutes of “unproductive” productivity versus three hours of mediocre misery is an easy decision. My stress goes down, my satisfaction goes up, and my self-awareness and self-image improves immensely. After I’ve taken that brain break, i often find myself questioning why I was so reluctant to do so in the first place - there’s some part deep within me that tells me that “if I’m not producing then I am worthless” or something.

And what a fallacy that is - because my production certainly isn’t quality when it’s forced, my stress increases and i find myself more miserable. I have two ways that I combat this:

• I make sure that my iPad is set up next to me during the work day, for quick access when i feel the fog coming on.
• I use if-then checks throughout the day to gauge my frustration / distraction level. I’m also working on either finding or writing a software that alerts me if i haven’t pressed a key on the keyboard in a certain amount of time, which should break me out of whatever useless scroll-hole I’ve found myself in and prompt a creative session.

Do you ever experience “monkey fog” like this? What do you call it and how do you deal with it?